My husband told me yesterday that I had to stop being my daughters’ confidante and start being their mother.
You see, there are times when I think I get too emotionally involved in my kids’ lives, and I try to fix things, and make them go in a certain direction. And Keith told me that wasn’t right.
I have to stop, because my kids’ futures are not in my hands. They are in God’s.
It occurs to me that this is the time of year when parents are asked most to trust. Some of us have kids going off to school for the first time, and we’re nervous. What will happen to them when we’re not there to protect them? It doesn’t matter if it’s grade 1 or the first year of college, we want to make their lives safe and happy, and we’re not in control anymore. That’s hard.
What if your child has a teacher that has it in for her? What if he’s in a class with boys who bully him? What if your kids don’t have any friends? What if your daughter at college is lonely?
Everyday I have to learn anew that my daughters, as much as I love them, must be free to make their own decisions, and must learn how to trust God themselves. That’s hard to do if I’m always making life easy for them.
There is, of course, a balance. If your child is being bullied, you don’t sit there and take it. If the teacher is persecuting your child, or ignoring a learning disability, you intervene. But it is hard to avoid the “helicopter” syndrome and just learn to pray, keep giving your kids into God’s hands, and ask that He will help them to make increasingly good decisions as they age.
With so many of you at important stages in your life right now with your kids, why not share what your struggles are? Is it the teacher? The day care? Leaving your child at college? What worries you, and how do you deal with it?
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